John Ritter Rocks

11:51 a.m.

Ah, my yard work is done, for the time being. I had to wake up early (well, early for me) and get out to do big important manly mulch shoveling. The dump-truck fairy left us a massive pile of bark mulch in our driveway that had to be distributed to all of our gardens. Never before have I wished that my parents weren't so garden-crazy as I have today.

Let me state, for the record, that I hate mulch. It's not that it's dirty, or even that it involves lots of wheelbarrow activity (which I also hate) - it's the fact that the stuff radiates an almost unnatural warmth. Pick up a handful of bark mulch - it's hot. Doesn't matter what the temperature is outside, that stuff will heat up your hand. I realize that it's decaying matter and decaying matter is going to give off heat, but that doesn't stop me from disliking the way a handful of that stuff feels.

And now, a random thought: I really like John Ritter. He's awesome. I love him like a brother. No, better than that. Like a TV brother. I swear, if I ever make a movie, I want him in it. Even if it's a cameo as himself or something lame like that. No movie is complete without John Ritter in there somewhere. I mean, just imagine all the movies you've seen where you went, "Yeah, that movie was good, but it seemed like it was missing something." I bet it didn't have John Ritter in it. That's what was missing.

Somebody told me John Ritter has some kind of new show where he plays a dad. That has all the boilings of a family sitcom, and I hate those, so I haven't seen it yet - if anybody has, tell me if it's good. I can't have my John Ritter image soiled. If I watch it and it sucks, I'll have to watch Three's Company reruns forever to get the taste out of my mouth. Also, that one cool episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where John Ritter played a robot that kept threatening to slap Sarah Michelle Gellar in her "smart mouth." God, I love that episode.

You still doubt how cool Ritter is? Check this out:

Yeah, that's right. He'll kick your ass. He doesn't even care. You looked at him funny? He'll drop you. You checking out his woman? You're dead!

Not as dead as you would be if it were, say, Bruce Willis, but still, pretty damn dead.

I may make a survey later today. Stay tuned.

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