2003-07-02

Dear Readership

5:07 p.m.

A few quick notices on the changes that have been happening here:

As you can see, I've listed myself as a registered member of diarist.net, an online registry of roughly two zillion online blogs. There's no real significance in this gesture. It's just that everybody else seems to be on that list and I'll be damned if I'm odd man out.

I've also finally put up a button for BlueSphere - the charitable Amazon linkage hosted by my main Canadian man, Joey. For those of you not in the know, BlueSphere works thusly - you go in, click on pretty much any Amazon link in there, and if you make a purchase on Amazon through that link, 5% of your purchase gets donated to poor kids. Poor kids! Christ, you were going to buy that stupid J. Lo CD anyway. You might as make sure the kids from the block get a little of that cash.

Also, you can now check out what I'm reading to the right. Because I think I'm so important that you'll want to emulate me and become all literate like I am by reading all the crap I do. Yeah, you read it. You read it and like it.

Overall I'm debating a site redesign. I realize that I haven't been up all that long, but this nonstop brown is starting to piss me off. It looks like somebody spilled a light mocha coffee all over my web page.

I don't even like coffee.

And now, more email questions:

"Hey, I like country music! How dare you call it crap! You apologize!"

I'm sorry that your music sucks. If it would make you feel better I would use my best warbling voice to tell you about the time my momma was sent to prison and I used her truck to achey-break some hearts. Or whatever. All that stuff sounds the same to me.

Look, I realize not everybody is going to agree with my musical views. There are even those that don't understand why it's even such a big deal to me. In fact, after the club incident, Todd mentioned that he didn't like any of the music that was played, but it didn't cease him from attempting to dance and have fun.

This may sound bizarre, but music can literally make or break me. It's a really important thing in my life. And I can't stand country music. One country song, fine, I'll bear with it. Two in a row, okay, just a longer sit-out. But fifteen consecutive country songs in a row to lead up to one hip-hop song, after which we have another ten country songs...that's insane. I wanted to stick an icepick in my ear. Music just has that much of an effect on my mood.

"I'm kind of a nerd. Do you hate me?"

Look, I don't know if I've talked about this before, but Colt and I discussed it, and really, there's several different classes of nerd. My friends and I are in more of a geek class. We like technical gadgetry and a lot of nerdy stuff, but we lack a lot of social defects that go along with them. Yeah, I watch a lot of Japanese cartoons and read specifications on the latest MP3 players in my spare time, but it's cool - you can still relate to me. I can talk about other stuff. You might even find me funny. But not funny in a strange and horrifying car-wreck kind of way.

Now, a full on nerd, I'm sorry to say, is going to just be annoying to anybody with a reasonable sense of embarrassment. Because we all realize that this person is completely embarrassing him/herself. That's not to say that I'm not sympathetic. Lord knows I realize what it's like to get made fun of and shunned - that was me all the way through childhood - hell, all the way through most of my high school career. But you know what? You get over it, you move on, you ingrain yourself into society but maintain a secret rebel status. That's just how it works. This same guy that's annoying the hell out of me in economics is going to continue to annoy you in your cubicle every day for the rest of your life. Come whine at me then.

As long as you can speak without shouting all the time and talk about something besides images from the Hubble Space Telescope, you're fine.

If it makes you feel any better, there's a class of people that I hate twice as much as the uber-nerds that my economics nerd represents. That class is Nerd-Clinger-Bitches. These are girls that act really, really nice to the uber-nerd so he'll help them with their homework, and then fucking make fun of him when he leaves. Yeah, that's happened a few times. And don't think that I haven't called those girls on it, too. I fucking hate Nerd-Clinger-Bitches. At least I'm honest about how I feel.

"Lee, you talk a lot about boobs and the boners that they give you. It's not funny anymore."

My boners and a pair of heaving, delicious breasts will cease to be a source of comedic gold when I fucking say so.

Besides, I know you're lying. It's a well known fact that if one of my posts includes the word "boner" or "boobs" that my readership increases ten-fold. You guys are drawn to these words like moths to a flame.

Got that? Now get this: boner boner boner boner boner boner.

Keep sending in those crazy questions/comments, kids! I love you almost as much as Betty Boop.

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