2003-07-09
Owie
4:16 p.m.
Oh, God, I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. But we'll get to that in just a bit.
Tech Writing is boring, pretty much like I figured it would be. All we did today was go through the first two chapters of the book, with the teacher asking questions to make sure we understand what we were supposed to have read. I hate this - nobody will ever fucking volunteer this kind of information so she has to call on people, and then all they do is look down and read something directly from the pages of their book. I could feel my brain cells dying.
Special Note: I thought the Tech Writing prof was pretty gosh darned cute yesterday. I don't know what in the hell she did to cover this up, but today I realized fully that she is, in fact, pretty goddamn hot.
So I entertained myself during the class by staring at my teacher's legs. Considering that I was sitting in the front row and maybe like a good two feet away from said legs, this probably wasn't terribly smart of me as anyone that looked in my direction could tell that I wasn't listening to a damn thing anyone was saying, but rather, you know, staring at the teacher's super-sexy legs.
I couldn't help it. What do you people want from me, anyway?
At any rate, I take back all the stuff I said about kicking her puppy and whatnot. And I don't care if I do become a teacher's pet. Especially if she considers "teacher's pet" to be a clever euphemism for "love slave." If that's what has to happen, then so be it.
Our new assignment in that class is to find potential jobs we could actually apply for and make out résumés and cover letters for them, etc.
I found out that there's a girl from my Tech Writing class who also happens to be in my strength training class. While waiting before class she asked to see my English book and began chatting while she rifted through the pages, clearly not reading a damn thing.
Girl: Ugh, I can't believe we have to make a one-page résumé for this class. That sucks so hard.
Lee: I suppose.
Girl: I don't know how I'm going to fit all my credentials on one page anyway. That's impossible. I'd have to use, like, seven-point font or something. It's just too much stuff.
Lee's Imagination: Oh, give me back my book and go brag to somebody else, you jackass.
Lee: Yeah...that's a problem, all right...
Girl: Don't you hate being overqualified for stuff?
Lee: I imagine it must be quite a strain.
Girl: You have no idea. And what's even worse is that, with the job market the way it is, I won't be able to get the kind of work that I really want even if I could do it in my sleep. I might only make like 50 a year.
Lee: Life sure does suck sometimes. I'm going to be an accountant.
Girl: What kind?
Lee: A managerial accountant.
Girl: Where you wanna work?
Lee: A really nice place.
Girl: I see. Well, here's your book back.
Lee: Thanks.
Then She-Hulk arrived and it was time to start class. This was a time that I like to refer to as "The Dawn of Pain."
Today's agenda had us figuring out our one-rep maximum on the leg press. I managed to get myself up to like 430 before I maxed. I came down one time, was barely able to push it all the way back up, and right as I was trying to lock the weights back in place, She-Hulk slaps my hand.
Hulk: C'mon, do another one.
Lee: Huh? No way! I barely got that up.
Hulk: You can do another one.
Partner: I dunno, if he says he's maxed...
Hulk: Nah, we'll both spot him. C'mon, Lee, do another one.
*Lee starts to lower the weights...and lower...and lower...and OH GOD THEY WON'T STOP LOWERING*
Lee: Goo!
*Hulk and Partner lift weights off of Lee, who is little more than a mangled heap*
Hulk: Okay, stretch out your legs. We'll put another set of 45s on and you can try again.
Lee: What?!
Hulk: I know you can do more than what you just did. Come on, now.
*Hulk and Partner load on 90 more pounds of weight*
Lee: I really don't want to do this.
Hulk: You can do this.
Lee: That's not the issue. I really don't want to do this.
Hulk: Let's go.
*Lee gets crushed even more by weights*
Lee: Ack! Ah....ack!
Hulk: Okay, I guess what you had before was your one-rep limit.
Lee: Ugh. Did the fact that I could only do one rep tip you off?
Hulk: Okay, come on, time to do some dips!
Lee: Oh, God. Shouldn't you be watching these other people?
Hulk: C'mon!
*Lee does six dips and begins struggling to get a seventh one*
Hulk: Get up there! C'mon, get up there!
Lee: Bleh. *falls*
Hulk: Well, okay. You ready for pull-ups?
Lee: No.
Hulk: Let's get you up there and see how many you can do.
Lee: Let's see how many you can do.
*Prof hops up on the pull-up bar and proceeds to do a number of pull-ups which I will not disclose here - suffice to say that it was more than I could do, surely*
Hulk: All right, you ready?
Lee: Oh, look, other people are done with the leg press - let's let them have a hit on that bar.
Hulk: Are you sure?
Lee: Oh, yeah. It's cool, I think they've been waiting. I don't want to keep them from this thing.
*five minutes go by*
Hulk: How about now?
Lee: Ah. Damn. It's time to go. See?
Hulk: What? Oh, yeah. Okay, everybody, we're going to finish up pull-ups tomorrow, then we'll see how many sit-ups you can do, and figure out what the max you can bench is.
Lee: *runs out, leaving a dust cloud shaped like himself behind*
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