Loveinator

1:07 p.m.

Today Hottie English Teacher was wearing sensible but sexy pants so I couldn't stare at her legs. However due to either a chilly room or my amazing powers of seduction she was having a nippletastic day. This woman is amazing. There's always something new and exciting! How can I ever be bored with Hottie English Teacher around?

The real question is, how can I ever not be board? Wood, that is. Hoo-Ha!

This is part of a long-running history I have of being attracted to girls with a full mastery of the Queen's English. This includes not only those English and literature girls, but also theatre and drama girls, and your general array of geeky girls. They all tickle my smarty bone. And if they wanted, they could tickle some other bones. It's whatever the lady wants. Lee doesn't force anything. He's there to fulfill your needs - day, night, leap year, whatever.

Oh, get this - today Hottie English Teacher gave us a resume which she claimed was a real copy of an old one she'd written up to get lecture positions after graduate school, and for us to find any mistakes and correct them. I say "claimed" because there's no possible way a trained English major would have made some of the mistakes I caught on my first glance through the thing, but since this class was designed for engineers (which Texas A&M has, you know, a few) I guess I don't blame her for inserting a plethora of easy catchable mistakes for the layman to find. That, however, isn't what had me excited. What got me excited was that in her interests she listed fantasy role-playing and the fact that she had been involved in an all-girl punk band at some point.

Part of me wants to believe that she put down truthful things in her life as an example of what not to stick in a resume, but the rational part of me says that she possibly made up the whole lot of it. I hope it's true. Not because I think her Dungeons and Dragons thing makes her hotter, but because girls that are into that sort of thing won't judge me when I talk about all the cartoons I watch and the deep significant meanings I find in them that probably aren't really there.

And I like punk and indie girls, too. Not that "punk" or "indie" has any real meaning when applied to something other than music.

In short: I heart you, Hottie English Teacher.

Also, before certain people start getting ideas, Hottie English Teacher cannot replace Drew Barrymore as my celebrity crush by simple way that she is not a celebrity. Besides which, there's plenty of Lee to go around.

Seriously. I weighed myself in Strength Training. 190. Damn, I gained five pounds since I last weighed myself. Admittedly I last weighed myself like three or four months ago, but still. I can remember back in high school I was all....well, no, I was never fit. But I weighed 170. That's a helluva lot better for somebody of my height (5'6").

And ugh, speaking of Strength Training...that class is going to kill me. I'll be fit, yes. But also dead.

Today it was revealed to me how truly weak I am in the upper body area. I could only do two pull-ups. Admittedly that was two more than I figured I'd be able to do, and it wasn't like I was the only guy that couldn't do more than that, but it still made me feel like a wuss. Also, I couldn't really bench any more than 135, and I maxed out my sit-up capacity at 40.

This is quite pathetic.

Maybe I could've done a little better on the bench if not for the fact that my arms are killing me up by my shoulders from the dips that I did yesterday. Doesn't matter, though. This is all for my own good. I must dedicate myself to muscular endurance.

But I'mma bitch about it the whole way through, let me tell you.

It's cool, though, it's cool. By the end of the summer I'm gonna be all, "BAM!" Yeah, see, but it won't be me saying it, it'll be my incredible muscles.

She-Hulk left me alone more today, also, so that helped me out. She was too busy dealing with all the tiny girls that complained that they didn't want to lift too many weights because they were afraid of getting all big and bulky. Also, as one girl secretly confided in me, they're pretty sure that if they work out and get too muscular, their boobs will shrink.

While I'll admit this would be a tragedy, it's also unfounded and stupid. Girls don't get big unless they're like my She-Hulk teacher and take secret anabolic steroid shots. Also, it's cardiovascular exercise that will shrink the fat out of your boobs, not bench pressing 50 pounds.

See, I know my fundamentals. I'm weak, but very knowledgeable. I make it my duty to allay the fears of boob-shrinking.

Much like the Terminator, I've got detailed files on anatomy. But only because it makes me a better Loveinator.

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