High School

4:48 p.m.

Since we're already reminiscing, let me go back even further and sort of touch base on high school. I'd rather not stay there too long, though, because the further I go back, the more embarrassing my life seemed.

First of all, I mentioned in this entry three girls that I was curious about: JoAnn Lutmer, Trina Wollard, and Lilly Tade. I should probably give some background on them.

JoAnn Lutmer - When I look back, I realize that I wasn't exactly very nice to JoAnn. This I regret, because she was usually pretty nice to me, and I had plenty of people that I actually hated that deserved my negativity far more than she did. For instance, there was this one time in our senior English class during which we were peer-revising college essays, and the one I was reading concerned Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree and how it had changed this one individual's life.

Since I'm always pretty chummy with my English teachers I went in and basically ripped into it in front of her. I told her I thought the concept was retarded, and various other things that I mostly based on the fact that this, to me, was little more than a first grade book report. Of course, the paper was JoAnn's, and she got pissed. It didn't help that I couldn't stop laughing when I found out.

In hindsight, this wasn't my best reaction. On the off-chance that JoAnn might ever come across this page and read this entry: I'm sorry. That was wrong.

And it is. I've had my writing ripped into on multiple occasions, and it's often pretty bad for me, because I already have a pretty high opinion of myself in this field. And, given that I myself wrote an essay to a made-up Trucking School for that assignment, I don't exactly have room to talk.

In short, I had no room to behave the way I did around her, and I was kind of small-minded, and I wish I hadn't been. But there's no way to revisit high school and do it all over again. If there was, I probably would have had more fun. And more sex.

Trina Wollard - Trina was possibly one of the nicest girls I've ever known. She was so nice that it was almost annoying, but the fact is that no matter how much you want to, it's nigh impossible to fault somebody for being too nice when she's just so nice.

Here's a sample of a conversation I remember having with her:

Lee: *laughing* Trina, you may well have one of the highest-pitched voices of any girl I've ever known in my life.
Trina: *gasp* That's not very nice!
Lee: It's very, very high.
Trina: I don't do it on purpose.
Lee: I know. It's okay.
Trina: ...
Lee: ...
Trina: At least you're honest with me. *hug*
Lee: Uh, yeah.

I'm really interested in seeing where Trina is right now because I recall her being rather ambitious, and I'm well aware of what ends up happening to ambitious people most of the time once they actually get out there. I'm not saying I think she's failed, I just think the odds are usually against you when your standards are so high, and I honestly want to know if she's made it. To be honest, I always rooted for her. I'd like to see her be a doctor.

I think she was going to be a doctor. At some point you find it hard to remember what people in high school were going to do, what college they had planned on attending, etc.

Lilly Tade - Lilly was the purest representation of everything I found hot in a girl back in high school. She played cello in the orchestra with the rest of us dorks and I can think of few guys in that group that didn't have some kind of crush on her at one point or another, including myself.

She was also very easy to pick on, because she never ignored you, ever, and she could often be sort of gullible, which just made it all the better. Plus, she was usually just as immature as I was. All this made me able to like her on a level that didn't just have to do with sex, which made her highly appealing.

Not that this level didn't also include sex appeal. I mean, come on. She was really hot.

What all from high school should we cover?

Like I mentioned earlier, I was a member of the orchestra. I played violin. Horribly. I haven't touched the instrument since I got out. I'm very accepting of the fact that I can't really carry a tune.

I was also a member of UIL Ready Writing, an essay writing competition that I only did for one year because it annoyed the hell out of me.

I remember everybody and their dog was a National Honors Society member but me, because I just didn't feel like doing all the community service that came with it. I got into college just fine, so I guess I never really learned my lesson on that one. I could list all the other stuff I didn't do, like attend pep rallies, dances, football games, etc., but there's just not enough room.

I remember I had the goal of not being in my senior yearbook of high school at all, which failed miserably because I forgot about the group pictures I'd had to take with my few organizations. In hindsight, that whole goal was mostly pointless anyway. How many of you ever really look back at yearbooks? I don't. Why the fuck did I ever buy any?

I remember getting worked up over things that now seem so stupid I'm not sure why they ever entered my head to begin with. It's funny to talk to a high school student and tell them that if they go to college everything's going to be different because they don't believe you. Well, it is. I'm nothing like I was in high school, believe me.

I don't even particularly like the way I was in high school. I mean, I once asked Ryan to characterize my high school self, and his reponse was, "You were incredibly apathetic." It's true. I really didn't care about a lot. I made good grades not because I got a sense of accomplishment out of it but because I'd get in trouble if I didn't, and I think I originally went to college because it's what everybody expected me to do. I didn't even give a lot of thought as to where. I went to A&M because my dad went there and because, really, that's where all my friends were going.

A lot of the basic essence of LeeboZeebo was there, but it was mostly dormant because I was too much of a puss to really speak my mind and most of the time I didn't think it mattered so much anyway whether I did or didn't. As most people who read this know, I have no problems with that anymore.

I've also lost all sense of modesty. I'm awesome and I fucking know it. I saw girls dating some real assholes at that bar last night and it pained me to think that they could be over here with me instead. I have a good relationship with my parents that isn't the least bit clingy, I'm funny, I'm caring, I'll actually cuddle, and I'm none too bad at the sex act.

Every girl wants a guy with these characteristics but they also want them to look like Brad Pitt. Whatever. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Brad Pitt - I know my limitations - but I'm far from a donkey hell beast. So if a girl would rather have a commanding guy that pays no attention to her because he looks good, then have at it. It gets almost funny after a while to see stereotypes played out in real time.

What was my point? Christ, I lost track. I'll just sum it up here: I wasn't real enamored with high school, but now I'm great. I'm very full of myself, but that still doesn't stop me from being really badass.

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