Alaskan Ross

4:36 p.m.

Well, both of my parents have high-tailed it out of here and are currently staying in Anchorage, Alaska for the weekend. Yeah, you heard me right. Alaska! Home of the winter wasteland. Behold, their catchy slogan: The Lucky Ones Die!

This leaves me here at home in a bit of a rut. I can think of things I wouldn't mind doing, but they all cost money. And last I checked, I don't really have any right at the moment. So I'm sort of stuck. I really don't need to shell out the cash right now.

Especially since I bought a bag yesterday at Ross. Damn, but it's a pimptacular bag. Seriously. True, it was originally intended to be a portfolio bag for artists, but it easily doubles as a messenger bag for me, what with all its handy (but well concealed) storage pockets. I love pockets. Especially secret ones.

But I hate Ross. That damn store. You guys ever been to one? Don't go - it will kill you with its designer labels at bargain prices. It's one of those stores that collect clothing and items that have just recently gone "out of fashion" (not that I ever know what's IN fashion), as well as anything that has a supposed defect in it. Imagine buying a pair of nice dress pants that would normally cost you $65 but have been marked down to $15 just because they misspelled some words on the tag, which nobody but you is going to see anyway. Brilliant.

The horrible thing about Ross is that I go in there and always find a shitload of stuff I want. I had to slap myself to stop me from buying a nice belt by Fossil at a sinful price of $10. I managed to escape with only my $15 bag, but it was a struggle, let me tell you.

And don't even get me started on the Betty Boop merchandise I discovered. Damn you, Ross. You know how I love Betty Boop and her big wartime propaganda spouting melon head. I swear, the store reads into my innermost desires and then makes things appear before me. It's a supernatural shop. I half expect voices to whisper around my head: "The savings never stop, LeeboZeebo....buy those jeans...you know you want to...everything at Ross makes your ass look fantastic!"

In short, the Ross store turns me into a girl. I can't go there. Don't make me.

------

I was a fool to come home without music. I was lucky enough to remember a few CDs I had in my car. It's the only thing keeping me sane right now. Especially since my dad took my cell phone with him to Alaska. Man, I hope nobody tries to call me on that thing.

Speaking of phones, my dad's been talking quite seriously about switching my service from Sprint to Verizon and getting on some sort of family plan so that both me and my brother can have cell phones. This is fine by me, since that would mean a whole different phone for me to use. I hate my current one (the Sanyo SCP-4500) simply because I can't carry it about in my pocket without it creating an obscene and uncomfortable bulge in my pants. Those of you who have been reading me for some time know that I don't need any help with that.

------

As a side note, you've probably noticed I do this thing with the dashes when I change subjects now. I was reading over some of my older entries and discovered that I'm very, very poor at seguing into a new subject. Rather than attempt to get better at this, I have devised a shortcut. New subject!

------

Thanks to BienSoul's ringing endorsement, I have upgraded my JournalCon status from "thinking about going" to "possibly going." Also, I noticed that just about every one of the 12 Percenters going is female. This works for me, because I think I come off better when I'm surrounded by women.

Hey, now that I think about it, most of 12% Beer is female. Oh, Joey, you devil. I'm proud of ya.

But anyway, thanks to Bien for answering the call. I hope that our legislature pulls their heads out of their asses to cancel all of this Teacher Retirement Services bullshit they've pulled on the nation. Write angry letters and tell them that LeeboZeebo is gunning his way towards our nation's capital. By the end of the day I'll leave nothing but burning wreckage and I'll stand on top of it shirtless like the cover of a romance novel, surrounded by gorgeous female professors eager to thank me for procuring their retirement money.

If you don't quite know what I'm talking about, you probably aren't a teacher. Or know any.

------

Man, I'm looking hot today, what with my tussled hair, unshaven face, and "Who's Ya Daddy?" t-shirt. Of course, once I spritz on a little Contradiction by Calvin Klein, it won't matter how unkempt I am. Women across the country will be turned on by my scent.

Or cats.

Or cat-women.

------

I talked to Andria on the phone for a while last night about this and that. Classes, dating life - neither of which I'm engaged in at this exact moment, so I had less to say on the matters than she did. It was nice to talk to her, regardless. It'll be nice to see her when she comes back, too.

Assuming she has a place to live. I'm not real clear on what's going on with all of this residency hooplah, but it seems that her parents are waiting until somewhat the last minute to procure her an apartment. With school right around the corner, this will definitely make things difficult. Not impossible, but definitely difficult. I just hope she finds a place and a roommate acceptable to her standards. I'm sure she will.

------

Listening To: Boa - Duvet [Cyberia Remix], Naruto (anime) - Haruka Kanata

previous / next