Virgin Sororities

2:55 p.m.

According to a poll Maxim ran with women, over fifty percent of girl lost their virginity at age 16 or below.

Jesus.

I didn't lose my virginity until I came to college. Hell, I didn't really even date until I came to college. Reading something like that makes me honestly wonder just how many people were getting it on back when I was in high school. Somehow I'm willing to bet a lot.

I don't really know how I feel about that. It's not like I'm against premarital sex by any means. It's just that...16? I remember what I was like at 16 and I can't even imagine how I would take losing my virginity. Really, something that major happening in high school alone seems crazy. I don't know how many people remember what high school was like, but it's usually a non-stop drama festival. You throw sex into that equation, and it seems to me that you're asking for trouble.

I'm not sorry I had sex, but in hindsight I sort of wish I had talked about it a bit more beforehand. At least enough that I had time to prepare for it. I don't believe we even had protection that first time. That's just stupid.

But I never claimed to be perfect and level-headed all the time.

You know what? According to this, only 4% of women lost their virginity at the age I lost mine.

Also, 64% said that size does matter, but that's just kind of a side note.

Was I missing out? I don't think so. I'm not even sure if I was mature enough to lose my virginity when I did lose it. I think I handle sex much more responsibly now. But the first time is always going to be awkward as hell, no matter how bad you want it to be like a movie sex scene.

Oh, and only 5% said that they never give blowjobs. Society has come a long way.

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You know what? It's only after I've written all this that I took a closer look at this poll and discovered that the women interviewed were the 100 girls involved in their "Hometown Hotties" campaign. All these numbers suddenly make a lot more sense.

But I still suspect that the number of people losing their virginity at the high school level is pretty damn high, so my points are still valid.

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I need to get a membership to this damn place so I can make a survey filled with the most pertinent questions from this very questionnaire (note to self - procure money. Then procure membership. In that order). Then I can get results that aren't tainted by media whores that will likely say anything to look sexier to the male-dominant readership of this magazine.

For instance, 60% say that they've received a lap dance from a girl before. Good job. I don't care.

I need to hear how old people were when they lost their virginity from actual people. Not Maxim people. Also the blowjob and size issues. But that's just because I'm perverted and want to know all about your various tales of debauchery.

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Okay, I got like three emails after my last post that didn't seem to understand what I was trying to say when I mentioned the irony behind Ms. Traci's statement. I'll clarify it - it was ironic because she is a very pretty young girl in a sorority, and I'm a geek that sits here playing video games and singing like Jack Black. Which one should technically be more popular?

Some of you - man, you guys seem to think I have it in for sororities and the girls that are members of them.

Here's a shocker - Andria, my ex-girlfriend? The one I've talked about in here before? She was a sorority girl. Yeah. I clearly hate sororities.

I know what the common stereotypes are about sororities and sorority girls - sometimes you see those stereotypes played out, I won't lie. But don't blame the organization. Blame the bitchy girl that's making the organization look bad. The organization itself actually does some pretty nice stuff. A lot of community service. It's not all partying.

From what I gathered, they don't even have late night pillow fights in their lingerie. Sorry, guys. The American dream had to die sometime.

Here's my point - I'm not anti-sorority. I'm anti-bitch. Don't be a bitch. Nobody likes a bitch.

My other point is - I've seen what sororities do. I've been to the functions. Don't judge them so harshly. There's only two things I've seen sororities do that are just not at all cool. For one, they're money suckers. They might as well call sorority meetings "Empty Wallet Parties" because all they seem to do is collect more dues.

The other thing I've noticed is that they have a bad habit of instilling this exclusivity idea - in other words, the fraternities and sororities only date within each other, usually. That's idiotic, but thankfully a lot of girls in sororities that I've met say that you snap out of that after a time.

Don't hate, folks. Keep the love.

Listening To: Orgy - Fiction [Dreams in Digital], Lunatic Calm - Leave You Far Behind, Juliana Theory - As it Stands

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