A Serious Moment

1:08 AM

I'd like to take a moment and talk with all of you seriously.

Since I've begun this diary, I've done my best to try and keep facets of myself hidden. It's really easier on all of you if I just act like a funny goof all the time and tell amusing anecdotes about my daily activities. It's obvious that I'm not as interesting as I portray myself on this diary, but the moments that you (the readers) and I share together in blissful ignorance of this fact really help me.

I'm not a depressed individual. I just feel that I get a lot of undue praise. I don't say anything because, to be honest, my self esteem could just use the boost every now and again.

But the fact remains that I've established a bond with all of you that isn't completely honest. None of you out there ever truly get to know the real me. Nobody ever knows how I'm feeling about things. Not without a cute little quip, at least. That's just not fair to any of you.

I've decided to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. At least in regards to how I write this diary, and how I treat all of you. I want complete honesty in this diary. No more silly stories filled with exaggeration. No more focusing on breasts. That's just not me. From this point forward, I want the complete naked truth to be told.

I'm really glad I got all that off my chest. It feels good to say these things. Actually, I feel sort of awkward now. I had this big speech planned out, but now I have nothing to say.

No, I know exactly what I'll do. I'm going to reward all of you guys. You've been die hard loyal to me, no matter how stupid I've acted in the past, and that seriously deserves something. I'm going to give all of you a treat. Just hold on one sec.

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Actually, fuck it. I don't feel like being honest with anyone. To hell with the naked truth. Have some hot, sexy, naked me instead.

*cue "Main Vein" by Jamiroquai*

With any luck, after checking out these photos, you're either too busy masturbating or vomiting to reach a keyboard, so I won't have to deal with all of you trying to figure out what the real me is like anymore.

You've fallen into my ruse expertly! I'm a genius!

A sexy genius.

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