Stabbings!

9:31 AM

Well, it looks like I have today off, so I might as well use the time to do something really productive. Or I can write this diary entry.

I forgot to mention in my last entry how I lost my pocket knife. They have a metal detector at Six Flags just like everywhere else these days, and when I gave them my keys to walk through it, they flipped out and told me to ditch my killing weapon.

Because, just like everyone else, this is how I view my tiny Swiss Army Knife:

We've truly gone insane. What kind of shit am I going to start with that? Please tell me. Just what kind of shit do you think I can start with a pocket knife that, in addition to the world's thinnest, weinerest blade, also has a writing pen? Do I look like I'm here to hijack your park, fucker? What, do you think I'm going to take this bitch for a joyride?

You know what this says about Six Flags Astro World? They have no faith in the fun they're providing. They honestly think I'm going to get pissed and start ramming my little knife into somebody's kidneys.

Rachele: Golly, wasn't the Dungeon Drop a fun ride, Lee?
Lee: Nyaaaaaahhhhh! Stabbity fucking stab!
JoAnn: Holy crap! Lee, you stuck your knife in that park attendant! Or at least, I think you did. It's such a small knife that it's hard to tell.
Park Attendant: I'm cool. This happens all the time. His knife couldn't actually penetrate through all the layers of my Yosemite Sam costume. Here's your knife back, little boy. You run along, now.
Lee: Screw you! Your park sucks and I'm gonna do me some stabbin'!
Park Attendant: They're so cute at this age.
Rachele: Tell me about it, he's a handful. Especially since we got him that new toy of his.
Lee: Take it in the kneecaps, you bastard! You tawt you taw a bloody blade!
JoAnn: Oh, Lordy. I guess I'd better go put him in a time out or something.

Random Thoughts

You know, I'm getting pretty sick of these "I Support the Troops" bumper stickers I see all over the place. No shit, you support the troops. Who doesn't support the troops? I'm not talking about supporting the war, I'm talking about actually supporting the Americans we send overseas. Who the hell says, "Man, I hope those assholes get blown up?"

Here's a thought - somebody's making a lot of money on this sort of patriotism, and I'm willing to be that it isn't the troops.

So, I'm supposed to vote in the upcoming presidential election. I didn't vote in the last one. And as such, I didn't bitch about the way things were going. That's a sort of cardinal rule about people that don't vote. You don't get to say anything. But, I hear everybody else bitching about stuff, and it looks pretty fun, so I'm going to vote this year to regain my ability to bitch. As soon as I've cast my ballot expect me to start saying, "Lord, what's up with these taxes?" or "I sure wish everybody would stop aborting stuff! There should be a law!" In fact, that may be my new catch phrase. Every time something goes wrong, I'll remind Congress that they have the ability to make my life easier with their insane bill-drafting powers.

My hot dog isn't big enough! There ought to be a law!

Just testing that out.

You know, I really enjoy this new Coca-Cola C2 product. It's a fine little soda, I think. My friends tell me I'm retarded and that it just tastes like Diet Coke, but I disagree. I think it tastes enough like regular Coke that I don't care, and it lacks the terrible aftertaste of any Diet Soda I've ever had.

I saw like two minutes of The Simple Life 2 - Paris Hilton is such a retarded witch, I don't know why any man would want her.

I finally have a frame for my diploma. Once I get a mat cut for it, I can put it all together. Thus, at least one of my goals after graduation will be accomplished.

I wish I had a big robot to climb into and drive around. Pardon me while I fantasize about having my very own robot. Ahhh...robot.

Listening To: Naruto Soundtrack 2

previous / next