Yay, Crazies!

1:10 PM

I may have been a bit hasty in this entry when I said that I was done with my helpful construction work. My point being, I just spent the whole morning doing more of it. But this....this is the end of it. After this, it's nothing but caviar and hot girls sitting in my lap as I house-sit for the richest man in town. You hear that, God? The richest man in town!

In other news, I'd like to say that every day I'm faced with perplexing situations like the one represented in your local PvP comic strip, but that would be a bold-faced lie.

Still, you could imagine what it would be like if I was.

Emily recently mentioned that there seems to be a plethora of diaryland women that either have a crush on me, want to marry me, or simply have a strong desire to touch my fine, fine ass. I don't know that there are necessarily an actual plethora of such women, but I won't deny that there are a few, because I'm just not a modest person.

I wholeheartedly thank all of you that have expressed a need to make out with me in the past. Especially those of you that saw fit to send me barely covered pictures of your cleavage - those were very nice, and I appreciate them more than any gift basket of cookies I've received in my life. I won't deny that I think you are all very crazy for fixating on me, but I thank you nonetheless. You make my world go round. Should the love ever stop my world would therefore seize, go hurtling into the sun, and implode in on itself, burning me for all eternity as the cataclysm catches me in a time vortex of despair.

But hey, the good news is, my pants burn off first. So if you've got cable you might catch a glimpse of my package before the ten trillion degree heat roasts it into dust and a gust of fiery wind blows it away amidst my harrowing screams of pain.

And now, some random quotes:

Lee: I almost shat my pants on that ride, but gravity just kept forcing it back in.
Sam: You're lucky. I crapped out my mouth.

"Man this week has been so busy. Every week of this summer has. Every week just takes a little part of me. Soon I'm just going to be a penis and a lung."
[Joe]

"That's a forbidden jutsu..."exploding cock."
[Colt]

Explanation: Ryan works at a colonoscopy clinic.
Lee: Man, I forgot how expensive iPods are. Apple must coat everything in platinum. Or they dip all their electronics in a holy bath of Komodo Dragon Pee.
Ryan: One of our anaesthesiologists at the clinic has one. 40 gigs.
Lee: Fuck your anaesthesiologist. Those are $500.
Ryan: Yeah, he totes it around. He got a tuner adaptor thing that lets him play it in his car. It's so light and small.
Lee: I hope he got an adaptor that lets it play from deep within his bowels, because if I ever see him with it I'm going to shove it right up his ass.
Ryan: Nooooooo....then we'll have to go in and get it. And I'll be there.
Lee: I'll stick it in there with a note to you attached, so when you get it out you can have mail from the worst mailbox in the world.
Ryan: Ugh.

Emily: In the future, I'll let myself go, and you can drink heavily, and we'll be the typical American family.
Lee: Why don't I let myself go, and you can drink?
Emily: No, it's long been my dream to let myself go.

"Your diploma is framed, Lee. That's pretty much it for this portion of your life. Now get married, have kids, and die."
[My Dad]

"Grandma's car smells like concentrated New Jersey mixed with pure, unadulterated zoo rhino cage."
[Me]

Oh, also, I am apparently a Star Wars character. You just never know where I'm going to pop up next.

Listening To: The Delgados - Blackpool, Bon Jovi - Livin' on a Prayer, American Hi-Fi - Flavor of the Weak, Eiffel 65 - Blue

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