Not Cool

1:40 PM

Update: small update to the 101 Things About Me list.

Before we get this meeting started, I have some announcements I need to make.

Attention, Girls Everywhere:

Hanging a colorful Hawaiian lei on your rearview mirror no longer makes you trendy, cute, or even cool. You are all bordering on automaton status.

[This message brought to you by LeeboZeebo's Anti-Establishment Foundation]

Attention, Guy in Mercedes Convertible That Cut Me Off:

Fuck you.

[This message brought to the guy in the Mercedes Convertible by my keys on his crisp silver paint job]

I Am a Major Pussy

Every now and again I have to tell a story that doesn't make me look good. I don't like to, but we all need a reminder that I'm at least partly human.

So I go in to Best Buy a few days ago with my brother so we can buy some sale DVDs, and in the checkout line there's this really cute girl cashier and I'm chatting with her while we both check out. I was joking with her and she was laughing and overall we probably spent more time checking out than was necesary.

Anyway, I was thinking about her after I left, and it struck me that I desired a date with this girl. It's been so long since I've been on a date that I barely remember how they're supposed to go anymore. If nothing else, I'm sort of lonely being the only person in Tyler and it would be nice to meet somebody new that I can talk to.

So I go in yesterday with the intention of buying the Franz Ferdinand album, something I already wanted anyway, and checking out with her again.

I get my CD, get in line, and when I get to her register she actually remembered me from the last time and brought up the subject of a joke I'd made before. She remembers me, we're still joking together, I'm being checked out, and I'm actually losing my nerve. I start thinking about how most girls put "guys that hit on them at work" somewhere on their Top 10 List of Really Annoying Shit, still well below "guys that ask them out at work" and I absolutely lost it. I could barely even talk to her after that. I took my purchase and slinked out of the store, feeling like some kind of asshole for even thinking about bothering her.

This is what dating does. When I wasn't thinking about it before I was able to just laugh and tease her as though it was an everyday activity for me, but as soon as the concept of asking her out hit me, my mind fried.

That's what I mean when I say that I move slow in relationships. I find it virtually impossible to ask a girl out that I don't even know. Which is really retarded when you actually stop and consider the effects of the rejection factor.

And that's my story about not being cool. Please leave your spare change in the tip jar on your way out.

Listening To: Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand Album

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